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reluctant to go imagined that his absence would go unnoticed unless
it was disclosed by Allah. It was a time when the fruit on the trees
had ripened and their shade was dense - this too crossed my mind.

The Messenger of Allah, praise and peace be upon him, and his
Companions who were to accompany him occupied themselves with
their preparations. I would go out in the morning intending to do the
same along with them, only to return later without accomplishing
anything, saying to myself, „There is plenty of time. I can get ready
whenever I wish.‟ Time passed and the Companions had completed
their preparations. Then one day, the Messenger of Allah, praise
and peace be upon him, set out with them on his march. I had done
nothing to prepare myself. I remained in my indecisive state, without
accomplishing anything, while the Companions set off on their
march. I thought I would set off by myself and overtake them - how I
wish I had done so, but I did not.

As I went about in the town it grieved me to notice that among those
who remained at home, like me, were only those who were either