THE WOMAN AT THE GRAVESIDE H H 32 "The Prophet, praise and peace be upon him, passed by a woman who was crying at a grave-side. He said to her: 'Fear Allah and be steadfast.' She, not realizing who he was replied: 'Leave me alone; you have not suffered as I have.' Later someone told her that the one who spoke was the Prophet, praise and peace be upon him. The woman went to the house of the Prophet, praise and peace be upon him, there she found a doorman and went inside and said to him: 'I did not recognize you.' He said: 'Patience is at the time of the first shock of grief.' She had been crying at the grave-side of her son." R 32 Bukhari and Muslim with a chain up to Anas who related that the Prophet, praise and peace be upon him, said this.
31- وعن أنس رضي الله عنه ، قَالَ : مَرَّ النَّبيُّ صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم بامرأةٍ تَبكي عِنْدَ قَبْرٍ ، فَقَالَ : "اتّقِي الله واصْبِري" فَقَالَتْ : إِليْكَ عَنِّي ؛ فإِنَّكَ لم تُصَبْ بمُصِيبَتي وَلَمْ تَعرِفْهُ ، فَقيلَ لَهَا : إنَّه النَّبيُّ صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم فَأَتَتْ بَابَ النَّبيِّ صلى الله عليه وآله وسلم ، فَلَمْ تَجِدْ عِنْدَهُ بَوَّابينَ ، فقالتْ : لَمْ أعْرِفكَ ، فَقَالَ : "إنَّمَا الصَّبْرُ عِنْدَ الصَّدْمَةِ الأُولى" مُتَّفَقٌ عَلَيهِ . وفي رواية لمسلم : "تبكي عَلَى صَبيٍّ لَهَا" .